We wake up in the morning and immediately think “I didn’t get enough sleep”. We have a conversation with friends and the first words out of our mouth are “I’m so busy. There’s never enough time!” We sign our kids up for every sport and activity fearing that they won’t be relevant enough in today’s competitive world. Brene Brown says we live in a culture of deep scarcity defined by “never enough”.
Ten years ago my life was shaken to it’s core. It probably won’t take you too long to do the math and figure out what I’m referring to. Of course, it didn’t happen overnight. It was the “slow boil” that was hardly noticed until things really heated up. You all know the story and have seen the cartoon of the frog in the pot, right? There’s nothing like a deep recession to wake you up to your reality. Debt up to my eyeballs, my house worth half of what it had been a year ago, etc.
This time in my life caused me to question so much about enough. I questioned everything about myself. And mostly I told myself that I am not enough. I am not smart enough- I should have seen this coming. I am not honest enough- I should have communicated better when I suspected my husband and I were headed for trouble. After I was done berating myself and feeling ashamed about my situation, I turned my shame and guilt upside down. In the end I realized that I am not my job, or my house, or my bank account or retirement account. That I had gotten myself into trouble because of some poor choices. Not because I was bad, or stupid. I also realized that I am enough. That I had enough.
It’s easy for us to feel like we are not enough. We are bombarded with this message! Just turn on the T.V., open a magazine or browse through social media and we can easily fall into the not enough trap! I’m not skinny enough, rich enough, successful enough, smart enough, outgoing enough, or happy enough! I’m not a good enough mother, father, husband, wife, friend or employee! But, as Maya Angelou said, “You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.”
I came up with an acronym for enough that helps me to remember the truth: I AM ENOUGH!
E- Extraordinary. Not only are you ENOUGH, but, you are extraordinary! And each and every day is extraordinary. There are no ordinary people or moments.
N- Now. When we stay in the now moment- when we are present to what’s happening right now everything becomes enough. When we look ahead to the future, we often let fear take over and we shift into scarcity mode.
O- Outside influences. When we let family, friends, or society influence us we shift into comparison mode. That’s a recipe for “not enough” stew. When I remember that my life is "my business" then I remember that I am enough and I have enough.
U- Unique. We are individuals. No two of us are alike. I have an internal guidance system that tells ME what is enough for me.
G- Gratitude. When I am grateful for what I have RIGHT NOW- it’s all enough.
H- Happy. I have a choice in each moment. When I realize that this precious life is a gift, that there are no ordinary moments, when I stay in the present, when I stick to my own business, not what others think or say, when I remember that we are all individuals on our own path and what you do is what’s right for you and what I do is right for me, when I stay in gratitude for everything that’s going right and for all that I have...then, I can experience happiness and KNOW that I AM ENOUGH!
With Love & Gratitude,
Kinda and Rachel
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